UFO Thursday

I don't have a picture to post, I am ashamed of myself, I have a bag of unfinished candy corn that I think that I am going to make myself sick on. I am trying, I have had a pretty rough 24 hours let me tell you. I got up, and my kids were acting pretty okay, but then my little cousin calls and she is going after the job I told her about, because I wanted it. I had already applied and everything, and then she asked me what to put on her application to make her more appealing to an employer. I told her, I don't like liars. Anyhow, she went and told this woman that she really needed this job, and I am the one that actually needed the job, my cousin already has a job! Anyhow, she came over and wanted me to fix her hair for her, sure why not, I am screwed anyhow right? So then, my X has been telling me that he hasn't been seeing anyone. Anyhow, I went to get my camcorder and guess who he is shoving out of the front door? Shad a huge stack of womens laundry in her hands. And she jumped at him practically to get a kiss after smiling at me, and this was all in front of the kids. I do not have a divorce yet because he did not want to grant me one, but yet he has a girlfriend? That he denies exists. I asked him why he was not happy that he was dating someone and why he felt he needed to lie about it all of the time? His answer....it was because I deny him. You know in spite of everything I am a hopeless romantic and I thought that if he could take a couple of years and straighten himself up that maybe we could work things out. He does not seem to understand what the counselor and I have been telling him, so now all hope that he thought he could have had will never be. And he has been hounding me about calling off child support. I called my caseworker because being temporarily out of work, I ran out of income, with no child support and such, in order to recieve temporary assistance in my state, I have to have an open case for childsupport on record. I am so tired. How did I ever get mixed up with this person? I am just ready for it all to end. I want a job, I want to be independent, (moneywise), and I want to be able to move very far away when there is nothing left for me here. I found out that my grandfather has congestive heart failure, and I am wondering just how long he really has since my dog did not last very long when she had it and I put her down, I feel even guiltier now that my grandpa has it. It was terrible to see my dog go through it, and my poor grandpa broke his ribs the other day, I am guessing from coughing. I have to take my kids over to see them all of the time, they get upset when I don't come over at least a couple of times a week. I love my grandparents so much, and when they are gone I will probably move.