Above It All

This last year, I have been tying to rise above it all. Above the pain of my dad passing, of not having him here, not being able to talk to him, or even ask for guidance. I have no interim dad. And it's heartbreaking. I have handled crisis, kids, homeschool, work from home, COVID, family death from COVID and choas that it has wreaked upon our lives. I was never depressed in my life until last year. I cried almost every day. It was hard. It was hard to go to the Dr and ask for something to ease my strain. In the middle of everything having a child that has special needs is trying. They do not understand everything all the time. Sometimes things are too literal and sometimes, the emotions are too big for even them. Love has been the only thing that has gotten me through, along with a mood elevator, loving my family, loving my work, loving to go and get out and do things. I didn't knit much last year. I didn't do much of anything last year besides work. They love my family has for me is amazing. They do not make me feel guilty for wanting down time, or alone time, to be upset and healing. I may not ever get over the loss of my dad, but I smile when I think I did something that he would have liked. I know his essence is still with me forever and how he made me feel will last beyond my lifetime as well. Best part, my brother felt the same. This year we took a vacation together for the first time without a parent. Our families. (It wasn't all of us though). But it helped. I have started knitting again, and hope to make many hats this year that I can donate. I hope to fall back into the yarny wagon, and post happier and lighter topics soon. Thank you for bearing with me, and I hope you too can rise above.